The HSE Relationships Standard: The hidden risk many employers overlook

The cost of poor workplace relationships

When people hear the word conflict, they often imagine shouting matches, formal grievances, or HR investigations.

The reality is usually much quieter.

It's the team member who stops contributing in meetings because they feel dismissed.

The colleague who avoids someone they've fallen out with.

The manager who knows there's tension in the team but hopes it will sort itself out.

The passive-aggressive email.

The conversation that never happens.

The frustration that quietly grows.

Most workplace conflict doesn't explode. It erodes.

It chips away at trust, collaboration, creativity and engagement. It consumes energy that could be spent doing meaningful work.

And eventually, it shows up elsewhere:

• Increased sickness absence

• Reduced productivity

• Higher staff turnover

• Poorer customer experiences

• Lower morale

• Increased stress and anxiety

When relationships suffer, performance often follows.

We spend more time at work than ever before

Many of us spend more waking hours with colleagues than we do with our families.

Yet we often receive very little support in learning how to navigate disagreement, difficult conversations or workplace tensions.

We're expected to know how to do it naturally.

Some people do.

Many don't.

Most of us learned how to deal with conflict from our families, our schools, our cultures and our life experiences. Some learned to speak up. Others learned to stay quiet. Some learned to fight. Others learned to avoid.

These patterns don't disappear when we walk through the office door or log into Teams.

They come with us.

When organisations fail to recognise this, they often treat workplace conflict as an individual problem rather than a relationship issue.

The myth of the harmonious workplace

One of the biggest misconceptions I encounter is the belief that a healthy workplace is one where everyone agrees.

It isn't.

Healthy workplaces aren't conflict-free.

They're workplaces where people can disagree without damaging the relationship.

In fact, disagreement is often a sign that people care, are thinking critically, and feel able to express different perspectives.

The problem isn't disagreement.

The problem is what happens when people don't know how to have those conversations constructively.

When disagreement becomes personal.

When assumptions replace curiosity.

When people stop listening.

When leaders avoid difficult conversations because they fear making things worse.

Ironically, avoiding conflict often allows it to grow.

Perhaps the most concerning consequence is the human one.

As social beings, we need to feel heard. It’s a fundamental part of connection. If no one is truly listening, people may begin to withdraw.

And that raises an important question:

Are we at risk of deepening a loneliness epidemic, not because people aren’t speaking, but because no one is listening?

Psychological safety starts with relationships

Psychological safety has become something of a buzzword in recent years, but at its heart, it's incredibly simple.

Do people feel safe enough to speak honestly?

Can they raise concerns?

Can they admit mistakes?

Can they challenge ideas?

Can they disagree respectfully?

The answer depends largely on relationships.

People are far more likely to speak up when they trust the people around them.

Trust doesn't happen because an organisation puts a wellbeing statement on its website.

It develops through everyday interactions:

• Being listened to.

• Being treated with respect.

• Having concerns taken seriously.

• Being able to disagree without fear of punishment or humiliation.

These are relationship skills.

And like any skill, they can be learned.

Why leaders matter

The HSE Relationships Standard isn't simply about preventing bullying and harassment, although that's clearly important.

It's also about creating cultures where healthy relationships can thrive.

Leaders play a crucial role here.

Employees often take their cues from those around them.

If leaders avoid difficult conversations, others will too.

If leaders gossip, blame or criticise, those behaviours spread.

If leaders model curiosity, accountability and respectful challenge, that spreads as well.

Culture isn't created by posters.

It's created by behaviour.

Every conversation contributes to it.

A different way to think about risk

When organisations assess risk, they tend to focus on tangible issues.

Physical hazards are easier to see.

Relationship breakdowns are less visible.

But that doesn't make them less damaging.

In fact, unresolved conflict can become one of the most expensive hidden costs within an organisation.

Research consistently shows that workplace conflict consumes significant amounts of management time, increases absence rates and contributes to employee turnover.

Yet many organisations still wait until a grievance is raised before acting.

By that stage, the relationship is often already damaged.

Prevention is always easier than repair.

What can organisations do?

The good news is that improving workplace relationships doesn't necessarily require major structural change.

Often it starts with simple questions:

• How comfortable are people having difficult conversations?

• Do managers have the skills and confidence to address tensions early?

• Is respectful disagreement encouraged?

• Are concerns dealt with promptly?

• Do people feel heard?

Most importantly:

What conversations are people avoiding?

Because that's usually where the real work lies.

Investing in conflict competence, communication skills and relationship-building isn't simply a wellbeing initiative.

It's a business strategy.

The human factor

At the heart of every organisation are people.

People with different experiences, values, personalities, pressures and perspectives.

Sometimes we'll misunderstand each other.

Sometimes we'll disagree.

That's inevitable.

The question isn't whether conflict will happen.

It will.

The question is whether people have the skills, confidence and support to navigate it well.

The HSE Relationships Standard reminds us of something important:

Workplace wellbeing isn't only about managing stress once it appears.

It's about creating the conditions that reduce unnecessary stress in the first place.

And one of the most powerful ways to do that is through healthy, respectful and resilient relationships.

Because when relationships work, almost everything else becomes easier.

And when they don't, no amount of wellbeing initiatives can fully compensate for what is missing.

If you're curious about how conflict competence and healthy workplace relationships can reduce stress, improve wellbeing and strengthen collaboration, I'd love to have a conversation. Sometimes the most significant improvements start with the conversations we're currently avoiding.