How Many People Are in Therapy Because of You?

Harsh words, but they rang true with me! I heard this question on a TV programme recently and it hit me really hard.

I started going through a list of people I might have upset. But also remembered my own time sitting opposite a counsellor talking about the people in my life who’d upset me to the point I felt the need to talk it through with my therapist.

I couldn't help but think back to the time when I was first promoted to be a manager. I was there to do a job and not to be liked. At least that's what I was told by my then regional director.

Even though I got the results, the process wasn't pretty, and I wouldn't be surprised if a few people did mention me to their therapist. Or at least their friends and family. And not in a nice way.

My light bulb moment

I was what I call a Task Manager. Good at my job. Delivering the results in the hope of securing that inevitable promotion. But even though I enjoyed the work and meeting the company’s targets, I didn't enjoy the hatred I sensed from the people who worked for me.

I knew I had to change.

I started reading books about people skills and looked for ways to improve my own behaviour. I learned much from talking to managers I respected and liked.  Who, crucially, were liked by others!

I also gained significant insights into my self-development path by talking to my staff, listening to their concerns and finding out what works and what doesn't in the workplace.

As a manager or a team leader, you have a huge responsibility for people in your team. Not just to deliver results but to ensure people are treated with respect.

Understanding others and clear communication are very important. But also having the desire to get the best out of people through the identification of their strengths.

Building trust gets results

Most people work in roles where a degree of agility, ingenuity and creativity is required to deal with day-to-day operational challenges. No matter where you are or what you do, you often need to think on your feet.

You must deal with customer requests immediately, effectively and politely. No matter how awkward the conversation might be.

Sudden, unexpected changes in your operational environment might require swift, decisive action. And those supply problems you hadn’t anticipated may cause some head-scratching. 

To name but a few of the issues that can arise!

But when you trust your team, and they trust you, you can be confident that they will be able to deal with challenging situations precisely because you’ve given them the skills, courage and self-belief they need to be able to deliver great results.

It doesn’t have to be this way…

So how would you feel if you found out that you're the main subject of one of your employee’s therapy session? Just typing this makes me feel uneasy…

Self-awareness and self-reflection are the first steps towards making the necessary changes to your management style.

I ended up in people skills training because I believe people skills should be high on the list of training topics for anyone who manages people. Or is in any way, shape or form responsible for people.

We all deserve to work and live in a positive environment. But to do this we have to act. What it takes is the will to learn, the desire to find the right information and support, and the commitment to put your new learning into practice in your daily life.

Can I help you gain the knowledge and the skills you need to improve your workplace relationships?

Get in touch for an informal discussion about how our services can make you a better manager.